2010年9月8日星期三

The secret of happiness : make life "slow " a little

In this competitive age, need not be too hard , we have run a high-speed roads . Busy seems to make us feel safe . However , rapid rush of life , not let us inner peace . On the contrary, brought about by physical heart overdraft anxiety, boredom , apathy , numbness , and increasingly fragile health ... ... have been deeply hurt our happiness .



Busy so that we can not extricate themselves addicted to the details of life , no time to take into account the mind , no time to listen to your inner voice , but no time to look around people 's needs. We have lost the "slow "capability , and even vacation travel , are flying from one attraction to another attraction , would not " waste " some time.

We are accustomed to living together from many used to stay up late to work overtime , used to busy living state ... ... and peace of mind - because it is better for the future well-being , anyway, to make things better for their families !

However, we do not know : When we are weighed down with work for a living, when life has left us . Well-being , has left us .

Make life a bit slower ! This slow , not do not work hard and reap the profits , not give up the responsibility, "slow "is a kind of attitude towards life , the wisdom of a balanced life .

A seriously ill friend said she had loved to work very put , marriage is still two days before the overtime . She walked into her office the American boss drive her home and told her: people dying , not because they do not someday regret over overtime , only because there is no more time to spend with family and remorse .

Until it got sick , she knew cogency . However , the cost has been too heavy .

With this simple but profound book called "missing corner . " That there is a round , missing a corner , and looked to find , on the road to chat with the wild flowers , and birds singing ... ... One day, it finally found the corner , into a complete circle , so can not be controlled quickly scroll all the way Flew forward . However , it no longer have the opportunity to know new friends roadside , not in the mood to sing ... ... the end, it gently down to that corner and continue to do that though incomplete , but a happy return to the circle .

Perhaps , busy and can not stop people , both inside and insecurity , there is a perfectionist tendencies . We would not have limited his face , refused to accept life itself , must become the eyes of others a perfect circle , must use the fastest sprint forward ... ... We do not know , it will miss it already belongs to us Happiness .

Let us slow down ! Let us enough time to collect the road on both sides of the happiness and joy . Had time to listen to good soothing nature , in time with relatives and friends to share quiet time , fully appreciate love and be loved , had time for everyone smile , and from the heart.

Let us slow down , let the people around us slow down , so we have time , not tied by time . Let us be wise in time , not lose . Let us accompany with their families feel for God has given us this rich and beautiful world.

If the pace of life is too hurried , often miss life's most precious blessing .

Willing to share the following four articles , look to give you some advise !

Article one: husband , slow down !


Wen / Chen Caitang

Day, her husband rushed House Report news to me : "I like to see Dong-Sheng Cheng was promoted to vice president, then I just work is so active when the fever ! "I looked at him , then seems to have thrown herself headlong into the whirlpool of ignorance and not working Shameless , it seems fortunate that they have seen through the work of the bottomless pit trap , and finally escaped easily .

Dong-Sheng Cheng was her husband's colleagues, had just transferred to Hong Kong, Shanghai , will take over the company's sales operations in Asia , only 40 -year-old , is the husband, the former vice president of a company 's age .

Her husband got a promotion , changed the whole life


Then vice president of her husband stepped on the throne , my heart flew up into the clouds as if intoxicated , will not only post high, salary increases , bonuses and stock accumulation there too!

In addition, the annual vice president of the United States, Europe and Asia , co-chaired three major areas , the District issued sales staff merit awards , the company free to the winners of three days in Paris, France , Spain, Barcelona and other world-class tourist attractions , Madame President, I have this pair of Is about to accompany her husband , and glorified in my life. So I intend to work with the needs of her husband , let him have to worry about .

Husband's new broom sweeps clean , energetic , Now they fly in India , sometimes of the Republic of Korea , where there is business , go out into where to go . Once he went to work early in the morning , afternoon I received a phone call , others are in Tokyo. That morning I had to go out , he needs to travel the interim , I do not go home with your luggage at home , a rush to write even a note is too late to go on the rush to the airport .

While coming home after work is no longer boast that he never had business to take home the lofty image of the . Home after supper , he began to phone around the outside . One night a week regular telephone conference , the United States, Europe and Asia districts 1 , 20 people on the phone line to discuss progress in performance status , and once at night time but yet he returned to the room , I opened the study door , surprised to find that He lay on the ground , soundly dreams , and hands still tightly holding a telephone .

Living together from many couples change " singles "


Husband is often deployed to work in the USA . Although busy , still trying to play the good father 's role , the children 's summer vacation , he always arranged holiday with us . The first winter vacation from Shanghai to Hong Kong, Singapore , I'm so excited the whole family have a relaxing holiday . Much to our surprise Hong Kong and Singapore , he was not a customer is to the office to see the results off a Chengxing away , back disappointed. Alas ! Such leave does not matter whether degree !

Soon the boss came silently adolescence has always been a docile son, also cried actually talk back , spinning in I can not find another pillar of the family , lamented that her is simply a single mother ! Then puberty so her second child , we not seen for several years Now they meet next minute the day , both sides strive to adapt the fact that we have each work independently .

Last year, the youngest son left home to go to college , I learned the famous words of the Bible Ruth said to her husband : " Where you go , I have gone, where you stay , where I also stay . " husband How can we say ? But I noticed he was not a trace of excited , my heart is also a slight fear of starting a share , after many years of separation date , as if we each become a " singles "again!

Had a revelation : I had an accomplice


I even insisted to our house door to Shanghai , there is no attachment to fly the American new shelter , to adapt from the marriage.

One day , when I look at the front of the computer to concentrate on work is the husband of a sudden heart of a dynamic , instant understand.

Oh ! I had an accomplice ! Enthusiasm over the years her husband's work is the side I cheered and fan the flames . Front of my cheerleaders often said: "My husband ! performance this year to get your highest score , amazing! "" My husband ! extra bonus this year , great! "listen to the ears of her husband not be better doing his job , more non-stop To running around ?

In this amazing discovery , I quickly changed his tune : "My husband ! slow down , not to charge forward , they do not get fired , who cares what performance bonuses ! "

The accidental husband, Dong-Sheng Cheng from colleagues who saw his own shadow that year , he shook his head sympathetically : "Let him out! " But I know that , if necessary, I still have to remind him: "My husband , slow down ! "

When you realize that : the cost of their non-stop busy , at the expense of family life, is the time to let go .

Article 2 : Do not do workaholic


Text / Elaine Minamide Translation / Zhou Ming-yi

Jia Ying is a workaholic !


Pretty capable , she is the age of 24 became a well-known global total distribution area of cosmetics . Now, 40 years old , she is not only a jewelry designer , shopping mall fashion show producer , is a flourishing interior design business owner , a volunteer association 's chairman , and she was the mother of a pair of twins !

Jia Ying 's life seems enviable , but no need to look closely , even she herself can tell : These look stunning titles and responsibilities, not only depleted her energy , but also greatly affected her family life. Often the day, her home is ruined and disorderly - 22:00 , Jiaying off with weary steps at home , ready to check the check children's homework . Daughter lying asleep early , and book press in the face, light wide open ; son is still busy looking for ready-made materials at home , to meet tomorrow 's hand- school class . Jiaying tired I just want immediately fell asleep , but the fridge has been empty , and no clean clothes to change , even bathing soap has run out . Her husband had just finished meeting the company back , a look at home in this way , had to immediately turn around to go straight to the supermarket to buy things .

Workaholic is " addicted "


" I was always too busy confusing , " Jia Ying lamented : "My house a mess , my husband has a belly full of grievances, they blame me for good . he will share part of the household , often delay their work. In fact, I do not mind Feel better , this situation leads to the inevitable crisis of the family , never envisioned by the year of our family life . "

" workaholic " is worse than " alcohol "," network addiction , "" video game crazy "and so on , seem "noble " more . However , it is a gradual and subtle disease that infected this disease , will become resentful . The " workaholic "children , usually immune incompetence also suffered , and then the adult may easily lead to a failed marriage , to depression , emotional instability .

You may think that only successful to deserve "workaholic" crown ? It is not. Done anything the first person , can join the ranks . Diane • Faso in her book " do die "in his book : Social encourage workaholic , so most people do not consciously think that , as long as good things are worth any sacrifice . Ironically, even many willing to lay down their career and devote herself full-time parenting her mother will be infected as a workaholic . "Everyone thought that since you do not work , there is time! "a full-time mother , said: " In addition to care of the family and the children, you can not help thinking that their time should be fully packed . "

Inner sense of insecurity


Now many professional women , work as hard as men . Home still want to be a good wife and good mother. Dragged his exhausted body under the kitchen , household chores , teach your children ... ... When can not be perfect, or even a complete mess , it is difficult being a distraction from the frustration and even despair, she will gradually erode .

The full-time housewives who are busy all day , and even participated in many community activities are also to be at home to prove they are not just a " cook woman ", but 18 's a strong woman as well versed in martial arts .

Really hide behind these women workaholic , is lurking in the heart of the unrest . Even Jiaying admitted : "When I really stop and think , I found their work and volunteer for a volunteer 's motivation is often selfish . I hope that others with admiration , that I played a strong role in the success , These ideas far more than a simple service motive . "

How can I get rid of it workaholic addiction ? First of all, you have to identify their real problems . When you realize that : the cost of their non-stop busy , at the expense of family life, is the time to let go .

From the Learn to say " no "to the beginning


Although Jiaying not from the " workaholic " in the ranks of relief , but she has gradually aware of their problems. As long as she found himself unable to extricate themselves wholeheartedly into the work , she remembered the friend and mentor Dan morning . "I learned to Dan Chen said 'no' , " Jia Ying said: " In general, some good things she said 'no' , so she could to better things - her family and her soul said, 'good' . "

Jia Ying Chen Dan decided to begin to learn .

Ten Steps to a balanced life :
1 . aware of their problems.
2 . to find someone by your side with you to fulfill the established schedule .
3 . to activities outside the home half .
4 . more less attitude .
5 . for their own arrangements for a " nothing out of danger " time.
6 . according to plan , and a limited time .
7 . Do not just want to give the child , family "quality time "(Quality time), to give " a lot of time "(Quantity time).
8 . cherish the moment the immediate and the children get along , because the fleeting , in the future you can not have another opportunity .
9 . " world is a time for everything , " everything you do not hurry to do now , keep the original plan , step by step you can .
10 . If you are a workaholic , quickly found a psychiatrist, counseling , or to regret the . Workaholic symptoms are usually wears a cloak of emotional problems , such as: depression , low self-affirmation , etc. . May wish to consider to find a reliable expert to talk about .

Article 3 : family benefits were lots of meals


Text / Madian

Adhere to the family of meals Blessed !

Forgotten family dinner table


According to the latest survey shows that three-quarters of family members, morning and evening meals with their families the opportunity to eat only 50 %, there is no alternative , of course , but more is based on lifestyle choices . They think that sitting at home in the dining room table , simply can not work overtime or on the gym and the importance of comparison .

Many reasons , of course , the work style of change is one of them. Today's traffic conditions , one must spend more time on the road , and employers want employees to work longer hours .

Increase in working women is also one of the reasons . Wives spent time and effort in the kitchen greatly reduced their household goods in machines by the weekend has already been very easy.

Also, walking the streets every three , Five Steps have fast-food chain or convenience store , advertised fast and cheap , plus a variety of advertisers gimmicks , they want to offer is modern , but not necessarily healthy Fast food , the modern concept of nutrition has been getting weaker and weaker .

Love , time to pay


Family warm at the dinner table chat scene , are slowly becoming a rarity . We have very little or not listen to his family a good day today , very few casually joke, or something defense flushed . With family members, we rarely face the challenge of the report to be submitted , or share an important commercial telephone communications ... ...

Love of the group of Dr. Du Busen so busy suffocating parents advice : " want to be good parents need to spend time. listen to how the children fell below the knee will take time ; listen to their children that the birds How broken wings need time . but time is the cornerstone of building mutual respect , love of the family is bound together . " However, he burst in the modern busy schedule does not go in gradually row .

Traditional family values is to allow families a sense of identity and belonging . We do not want with a group of busy with people living under one roof , we need to be aware of our uniqueness , character and value of living in the home .

Definitely worth


Over the years, my wife and I have always felt that family dinner is very natural. Of course, this means that you do not eat breakfast than those who get up earlier , also said that even if the office there is a lot of work to do, you have to put it received a briefcase , would rather do so little later . Over the past 25 years, we have proved the effect of family meals , all the sacrifice is worth it.

The following is one of the most significant results.


One of the benefits : to make nutritionally balanced family


" When I was preparing for a group of kindergarten -year-old child to do the screening , "a pediatrician , said: " I found that children with anemia and many other issues , since these parents have kids playing all the vaccinations , I would like to Ask them to do one thing - be sure to follow with their children eat a hearty breakfast, let them go to school . "

Harvard Medical School and the latest research report , regular meals with their parents were the children grow up to be cancer, heart or nervous system diseases, than the long years of their children eating less . Because the latter often do not eat fruits and vegetables , and eating too much "junk food . "

The second advantage : to enhance the feelings of family members


Meal the child time to chat with the adults , but the work pressure or family budgets, not a topic discussed at this time , because this is the intimate family time . Meal suitable topic such as " today's fun to say to us who share ah ? "or" What are your feelings on this matter ? " or " what the plans this weekend ? "

We also have another strict rules : If you can not praise the food on the table , then say nothing . This rule does not cook, especially on the side to be strictly enforced.

The third benefit : The affectionate message


Stable and regular meal times , regardless of the content of the food is rich or simple , will send a message to the child , is: "Some people put in some effort for me , I was really concerned about the needs of every day , it was really good to me . "

Sometimes a meal is really a little trouble , we have to adjust the timetable, but this is not what we as parents responsibility?

Although modern life so that we have to face additional pressure , but we do not bow to the environment . Children have the right to get what they deserve a day of food . When we take good care of children in the diet , the kind of happiness is often not particularly open fire to the family can never understand .

Article 4 : Dr. Du tell you: a woman how to relieve anxiety ?

1 . Do not change things in the struggle .


Want to have a sound psychological , the first principle is to learn to accept the fact can not be changed , otherwise it will drive the same as stepping on the brake , simply could not move. A woman might be " something in addition to other things are going well "; she was healthy , her husband loves her children very happy, affluence , life is not boring . However, she is likely because the Department does not come with her mother , I felt incredibly sad day . She let the negative factors to all the wonderful things around .

Today I do not know how many women are dissatisfied, not only because of some unnecessary luxury . We should be aware of dissatisfaction and complaints will become a habit , this attitude will make you pay the price , so you can not enjoy life 's pleasures .

2 . To reserve for themselves a little time.


If you do housewife in the home , and too busy to take care of the child , then sometimes have to satisfy my needs, play at least once a week to play , or shopping , dance aerobics , and even free time you can spend an afternoon . Is always very healthy, her mother if fixed to relieve feelings of leisure activities the whole family will benefit.

More importantly , we must protect marriage of love . Should be weekly or once every two weeks and her husband go out to date , temporarily put aside the issue that day , take mine. The two men get along with spending money , the benefits far exceeding the over- bought piece of furniture or a new dress . If a woman knows that he is her husband's lover , not just the wife , life would be more pleasant.

3 . Do not deal with major problems in the evening .



Tired of the person's cognitive ability has a great influence , through hard work , a busy day , even the most simple things people find it difficult to face . All the questions in the evening seems to have become difficult to resolve , when decisions are often emotional than rational . Discussions often turn into an unnecessary argument , in fact, stay as long as the main thing to talk about the morning , you can avoid this kind of pressure and hostility. A good night's sleep , the next morning and then brew a cup of coffee , very helpful to solve the problem .

4 . Try to work out the project .


Often work to the done to help alleviate the pressure out . To write down things that do have three advantages: (1 ) you know you will not forget ; (2 ) ensure that the most important thing you can not miss that way , even if that day did not get things done , at least the most important What has been done ; (3 ) things done on the cross out , you can leave a complete record.

Little Links:


Earlier this year, a slow tune , Italy proposed the establishment of organizational life " living on the international transfer slow (SLOW DAY) ". The American journalist Carl Honoré • Create a " Find your lost time "campaign every year from four years ago at the time the General Assembly , proposed to the U.S. Congress on October 24 of each year named the "official non- watch day " . They called on people to throw away my alarm clock and watch and find out who was working misuse of free time, looking for a relaxed lifestyle , people can fully enjoy the freedom to enjoy the convenience of high-tech civilization , not a slave to do the time and technology .

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